My Principles + Approach
Meet Mike
My Journey
I started my professional life as a filmmaker, and I had strong artistic influences from my family. After owning a small film production company first in D.C. and then in L.A., I switched careers and became a teacher. I really liked working with students and helping them grow holistically, not just in their academic knowledge. I would incorporate life lessons when possible and valued the community and energy of my classroom.
Becoming a therapist was a natural progression for me, and I was always interested in couples work and relationships. After becoming a licensed therapist, I sought out more in-depth trainings that would allow me to deepen my knowledge about relationships. A great couples therapist I know recommended the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy (PACT), so I took their extensive trainings and am currently a certified Level 1 and Level 2 PACT therapist.
Additionally, I have had the blessing of international experience, traveling extensively in Latin America and living in Colombia and Mexico. Words cannot express the people I’ve met along the way, perspective shifts, cultural enrichment, and lessons learned. I embrace these rich experiences and draw on them to inform my work with clients.
Finding a therapist who is a good fit can be tricky, and one way to address that is being transparent and clear from the start with clients. I find it helpful to list some of my principles as a therapist, knowing that not everyone will resonate, but those who do will likely be a good fit and embrace my method and approach to therapy. And I honor that all of these principles I did not create on my own, but I had trainings/experts/mentors who have either passed on these principles or helped shaped my thinking on them.
Empowering the couple vs. relying on the therapist
It’s easy to say that as a therapist I want to empower a couple, but what does that actually mean? It means that I’m aware of the dynamic in the (virtual) therapy room and the tendency of couples to defer to the therapist as the expert. And yes I won’t just sit back and say “figure it out.” However, the most sustainable, long-lasting change comes when the couple is empowered to think critically about issues and problem-solve efficiently and effectively. I will facilitate this empowerment with the belief that it’s best for the couple and their relationship.
Self-Honesty and Responsibility
Many people come into therapy wanting to change their partner. The term self-honesty refers to being honest with yourself, and taking responsibility for where you need to grow, shift, and change. We all have things we need to work on. It’s part of being human. And the amazing thing is when you focus on what you can change, your whole relationship will change, independent of what your partner does. Now when we have two partners willing to change- that’s where the real magic is!